Comb - pronounced "kahmb"

Ever since I was in Junior High School and was assigned my first locker, I've had this odd notion about locker combinations. In Junior High, of course, most kids were quite protective of their combination. You wouldn't let anybody look over your shoulder while opening the lock.

I took this one step (or several steps) further. I imagined there might be mindreaders about, so I would try to avoid even thinking of the combination while opening the lock. To this day, I say to myself the fake combination "36-23-36" as I dial the real one in the locker room at the gym. Sometimes I find myself dialing that fake one instead, and I have to start over.

Natural Woman

Years ago I bought Aretha Franklin's "30 Greatest Hits." Killer, particularly disc 1.

In those days, I rode bicycle to work most days. As I rode, I would often sing whatever song was in my head. One day it was "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman." I was just belting it out, waiting at a stop sign.

"You make me feel! You make me feel! You make me feel like a..."

At this point, I happened to look to my left. There was a pickup truck, also waiting at the stop sign.

With the passenger window open.

And the driver, sitting there, listening to the dork on the bike singing "You make me feel like a natural woman."

I Am the Walrus

If I'm sorta dopey-looking to begin with, and then I decide to grow a walrus mustache, I would hope somebody would pull me aside and gently inform me that I probably shouldn't. Grow the mustache, I mean.