Brainless news

Both Wednesday and Thursday I suffered through air-headed "news" stories on Tom Cruise's baby on "The Early Show" on CBS. I was stuck on a treadmill, and somebody else had the remote control, otherwise I'd have changed the channel. NBC, ABC, CNN, and Fox probably were running the same story.

But anyway, this morning I had a dream about Mr. Cruise. I blame CBS. I was in the tiny back seat of his BMW Z4 (which in reality doesn't have a back seat). He was admonishing me to never, EVER ding the paint if I ever drove it, and anyway, I would never, EVER drive it. Meanwhile, he was trying to park it next to his Porsche, and he scraped the two together with a satisfying crunch.

Phobia

I take a massage now and again, and I'm working through the yellow pages to find the best practitioner. The other day I called a new number and asked to make an appointment. The fellow said "I'll just transfer you to Seth."

Seth!

Seth?

No, no! Transfer me to Betty! Sandi! Crystal! Anybody but Seth!

So Seth gets on the line, I panicked, and now in one hour I go to see him.

I just hope "it" doesn't move, and I'm definitely not eating Mango for lunch.