Try the veal!

I'd like to thank the World Dryer Corporation for giving me my start in comedy. Yes, I was the first to deface the instructions on a hand dryer in a public restroom* to read "Push button. Rub hands gently under warm air."

I can't take credit for "Stops automatically." I'm a stickler for spelling.

*At a rest stop on I-35, just north of Dallas, in 1969, if you must know.